BOY!!!!
Today we found out that
Alex Richard Ashlock
will be the new addition to our home at the end of May. :)
We're thrilled!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Picture time...:)
Check out Emily's cool ruby slippers!!!
She wore them on Halloween when she dressed up as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz!
We even had a Toto! Mommy helped her carve a pumpkin.
She had to wear a sling while trick-or-treating because she broke her collar bone! She rolled off a bed at her Great-Grandma's house and landed "just right". Ouch! We've been healed up from that for quite a while, though.
We think people took pity on her, and gave her extra candy when they saw the sling. :)
Mommy was still in her first trimester and quickly got tired out trick-or-treating. So, Grandpa Ashlock made sure she didn't get cheated out of a "full" candy gathering experience. :)
Emily with her friends, Natalie & Lilly. Love those smiles!
Baking Christmas cookies with our friend Jayden and his grandma.
I inherited my Mom's piano, and we recently moved it down. I LOVE that Emily will (hopefully) learn to play the piano that her Grammy and Mommy both learned to play on. I love how it looks in our home. It just belongs. :)
'Tis the Season...
Wow... A lot has gone on since I last updated. First of all, I'm so thankful and happy to report that the situation my doctor was monitoring totally cleared up. We were so relieved and thankful to God for His touch.
Actually, things are now going VERY well with my pregnancy. In fact, this baby's taking it pretty easy on Mommy. I'm feeling great! I'm feeling so good, that I'm thinking it might be a boy. I've heard boys are easier on their mothers than girls are. I didn't get *all* that sick with Emily, but I have had it easier with this pregnancy. I'm so thankful. I know some women just have a miserable time. I'm thoroughly enjoying being pregnant this time around. The baby's a wiggle worm, and I love that I can feel it now. It really adds to the fun.
As far as the sex of the baby, we hope to find out on Monday. I'm so excited, though part of me would like it if the baby was modest and we had to wait until the birth to find out. I love not knowing right now what it is. It's so mysterious... :) Alas, when I think of all the preparations, I still want to find out. It will make things so much easier. Plus, I think it will be nice for Emily to get used to the idea that she's having a baby sister/ brother. That way she doesn't get her hopes up one way or the other. She keeps fluctuating as to what her preference is these days.
We are pretty confident that we have decided on names. Though, they are subject to change at any point. :) If it's a girl, we are thinking "Hannah Joy". If it's a boy, we are planning on calling him "Alex Richard". I wasn't too sure about Alex at first, but Aaron loved it & it has really grown on me. Richard is my Dad's name and Aaron's middle name. :)
Emily seems to be pretty excited still. She talks to my tummy. It melts me every time. She'll be a fantastic big sister. She will be in for quite the adjustment, though. After all, she's been the queen bee around here for quite some time. I think she'll do beautifully, though. She'll probably start preschool in the fall, and that will be special for her.
Preschool...wow....My how time is flying. I was pregnant with her yesterday....then I blinked, and I'm suddenly talking about preschool. Amazing.
Thanksgiving was a great time for us. We enjoyed spending the day with Aaron's family and putting up our Christmas decorations. I just love our tree. It's fairly small, but it's "us". I love how cheery it is, and it just makes me smile. Emily likes it too, and that makes me feel good.
Christmas is such a special time of the year. I'm so thankful for Jesus' willingness to come the way He did. I just don't deserve Him or His love.
We've enjoyed celebrating the season so far, and are looking forward to the next couple of weeks. It's so nice to be excited and joyful this year. I really struggled last year since it was so close on the heels of Mom's death. Emily was such a gift as she really "got into Christmas". She brings so much joy. This year is different, though....and I'm thankful. Emily's still excited as ever, and I love watching her experience it all. I still miss my Mom greatly, but my heart is full. God has blessed me. When I look at Aaron and Emily...or feel my baby moving inside, I think that I surely must be the richest woman in the world. God is so good.
Aaron and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on Dec. 13th. You know, there is something very special about being a newlywed. However, I think there is something even more special about being married at 5 years. I love how close we've gotten. We're closer now than when we got married. I love how comfortable we are with each other, yet I still get silly butterflies in my tummy at times when I'm around Him. He is truly my best friend and I love him with my whole heart. I'm so proud of my husband, his ministry & the father that he is. I hate the feeling of incompleteness I have when we are apart, and I love how his hugs feel when we're back together. I like having 5 years under our belt, and I so look forward to the next 5. It's mind boggling all the changes we've gone through in 5 years. Yet, I know they've prepared us for the next 5. When I think about how much my husband has become apart of me...how much I cherish him....and how intensely I love him after just 5 short years, I can't imagine how I'll feel after 50 years. I do love you, Aaron. Thanks for asking me to do this crazy life with you!
So, I guess that's a pretty decent update for now. I'll post some pictures in a little bit. Meanwhile, I have a little girl (who's supposed to be napping) calling for a drink. :)
Actually, things are now going VERY well with my pregnancy. In fact, this baby's taking it pretty easy on Mommy. I'm feeling great! I'm feeling so good, that I'm thinking it might be a boy. I've heard boys are easier on their mothers than girls are. I didn't get *all* that sick with Emily, but I have had it easier with this pregnancy. I'm so thankful. I know some women just have a miserable time. I'm thoroughly enjoying being pregnant this time around. The baby's a wiggle worm, and I love that I can feel it now. It really adds to the fun.
As far as the sex of the baby, we hope to find out on Monday. I'm so excited, though part of me would like it if the baby was modest and we had to wait until the birth to find out. I love not knowing right now what it is. It's so mysterious... :) Alas, when I think of all the preparations, I still want to find out. It will make things so much easier. Plus, I think it will be nice for Emily to get used to the idea that she's having a baby sister/ brother. That way she doesn't get her hopes up one way or the other. She keeps fluctuating as to what her preference is these days.
We are pretty confident that we have decided on names. Though, they are subject to change at any point. :) If it's a girl, we are thinking "Hannah Joy". If it's a boy, we are planning on calling him "Alex Richard". I wasn't too sure about Alex at first, but Aaron loved it & it has really grown on me. Richard is my Dad's name and Aaron's middle name. :)
Emily seems to be pretty excited still. She talks to my tummy. It melts me every time. She'll be a fantastic big sister. She will be in for quite the adjustment, though. After all, she's been the queen bee around here for quite some time. I think she'll do beautifully, though. She'll probably start preschool in the fall, and that will be special for her.
Preschool...wow....My how time is flying. I was pregnant with her yesterday....then I blinked, and I'm suddenly talking about preschool. Amazing.
Thanksgiving was a great time for us. We enjoyed spending the day with Aaron's family and putting up our Christmas decorations. I just love our tree. It's fairly small, but it's "us". I love how cheery it is, and it just makes me smile. Emily likes it too, and that makes me feel good.
Christmas is such a special time of the year. I'm so thankful for Jesus' willingness to come the way He did. I just don't deserve Him or His love.
We've enjoyed celebrating the season so far, and are looking forward to the next couple of weeks. It's so nice to be excited and joyful this year. I really struggled last year since it was so close on the heels of Mom's death. Emily was such a gift as she really "got into Christmas". She brings so much joy. This year is different, though....and I'm thankful. Emily's still excited as ever, and I love watching her experience it all. I still miss my Mom greatly, but my heart is full. God has blessed me. When I look at Aaron and Emily...or feel my baby moving inside, I think that I surely must be the richest woman in the world. God is so good.
Aaron and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on Dec. 13th. You know, there is something very special about being a newlywed. However, I think there is something even more special about being married at 5 years. I love how close we've gotten. We're closer now than when we got married. I love how comfortable we are with each other, yet I still get silly butterflies in my tummy at times when I'm around Him. He is truly my best friend and I love him with my whole heart. I'm so proud of my husband, his ministry & the father that he is. I hate the feeling of incompleteness I have when we are apart, and I love how his hugs feel when we're back together. I like having 5 years under our belt, and I so look forward to the next 5. It's mind boggling all the changes we've gone through in 5 years. Yet, I know they've prepared us for the next 5. When I think about how much my husband has become apart of me...how much I cherish him....and how intensely I love him after just 5 short years, I can't imagine how I'll feel after 50 years. I do love you, Aaron. Thanks for asking me to do this crazy life with you!
So, I guess that's a pretty decent update for now. I'll post some pictures in a little bit. Meanwhile, I have a little girl (who's supposed to be napping) calling for a drink. :)
Friday, October 24, 2008
One year
One year ago today...about this time...my mom slipped into heaven.
My heart has been really heavy all week. It feels like the tears have flowed more than they haven't.
Then, this morning, I woke up to an incredible peace. Even as I lay in bed this morning reliving the events of that tragic day in my mind...both the ones I was present for and the ones I wasn't...I felt a quiet peace.
All week, I've felt a need to write, but I haven't been sure of what exactly I wanted to say.
A big part of me wants to relive the details that never seem to be far from my mind. I want to record everything from my last conversation with Mom to the way my Dad and I just laid in their bed that night...holding each other...crying...talking...trying to breathe around the pain...and praying Jesus would choose that moment to come back.
Even if I never speak of these things again, I know I'll never forget them. It appears that's not what I need to write about today after all.
Instead, I want to talk about this peace I woke up with. So amazing...it far "passes all understanding."
It's just another example of how God has held me tight this year.
He has been so good...so faithful...so loving. He has lived up to His claim of being the God of all comfort. Jesus said that those who mourn are blessed because they will find comfort. I can't begin to tell you how true this is. Hear me when I say this: There has not been a single time I have mourned over the past 365 days that God hasn't provided some form of comfort. Sometimes the comfort has been through a random hug. Other times it's been through my husband, daughter or other family members. Many times it's been through the healing of shed tears. Often it's been through the quiet peace I feel today.
I'm so thankful for the loving God I serve. I'm so thankful for His hand in my life. I'm so thankful for the hope I have in Him.
Because of this hope, I can celebrate with my Mom that she's spent a whole year in Heaven. I am looking forward to the day I see her again, and I can relish that this crazy world is only temporary. I'm so thankful for her heart that loved God.
I don't know if it's this way for every person, but grieving has made me intensely long for heaven. Since October 24th, 2007, I've read a couple of books on the subject. While my heart aches for Jesus to come back and just take us all home, I also realize that each day we are here is a day that God has a purpose for us. I think for me, my heart is beating all the more intensely for the salvation of unsaved family members. I ache and pray fervently that they come to know Christ. I don't want them to miss out. I've done some studying lately. While I know there are different views surrounding this subject, I personally don't feel this crazy world has much longer before Christ returns. This makes me excited, but it makes my heart ache all the more for these family members.
All this to say, I'm just so thankful for the hope I have in eternity. Whether God takes me tomorrow or in 80 years, I'm so thankful I know where I'll be. I would be so lost without Him. What a great and good God He is.
Yesterday, I went for another ultrasound of our almost 10 week old baby. There is a situation that the doctor has been monitoring. He says to not be too concerned at this point, but it's just something we need to keep an eye on. It has the potential to lead to a miscarriage, but he doesn't think we are at that point yet. We have another ultrasound on Nov. 10th.
Needless to say, no mother ever wants to hear these words. ESPECIALLY not during a week she's also grieving hard over her own mother. The thought of losing this baby that I love so much and take such delight in just moves me to no words.
And yet... I woke up this morning with incredible peace.
Last night, Aaron and I prayed over the baby. As we pleaded for God to protect it, we also gave it back to Him. I always *knew* that there was no better place to put a worry, concern or loved one than in God's hands. After October 24th, 2007...I can say that I believe it more than ever.
Please don't misunderstand...I'm still going to have moments of fear and anxiousness. I honestly don't think I have the energy to grieve again so soon and so hard. I can't imagine it all...
I just know that no matter what happens...I'll be okay eventually. Because the same God that has proven himself over and over will take care of us again. I really do know that there is no better place for my baby or I to be than in His hands.
So...maybe this is all aimless babble. I don't know. What I do know is that I just want to say thank you to my God for loving me so much and being so real. I'm thankful for how He has put up with my moments of weak faith and doubt. I'm thankful for how He's always been there and has never left my side for a minute. I really do love Him so much.
My heart has been really heavy all week. It feels like the tears have flowed more than they haven't.
Then, this morning, I woke up to an incredible peace. Even as I lay in bed this morning reliving the events of that tragic day in my mind...both the ones I was present for and the ones I wasn't...I felt a quiet peace.
All week, I've felt a need to write, but I haven't been sure of what exactly I wanted to say.
A big part of me wants to relive the details that never seem to be far from my mind. I want to record everything from my last conversation with Mom to the way my Dad and I just laid in their bed that night...holding each other...crying...talking...trying to breathe around the pain...and praying Jesus would choose that moment to come back.
Even if I never speak of these things again, I know I'll never forget them. It appears that's not what I need to write about today after all.
Instead, I want to talk about this peace I woke up with. So amazing...it far "passes all understanding."
It's just another example of how God has held me tight this year.
He has been so good...so faithful...so loving. He has lived up to His claim of being the God of all comfort. Jesus said that those who mourn are blessed because they will find comfort. I can't begin to tell you how true this is. Hear me when I say this: There has not been a single time I have mourned over the past 365 days that God hasn't provided some form of comfort. Sometimes the comfort has been through a random hug. Other times it's been through my husband, daughter or other family members. Many times it's been through the healing of shed tears. Often it's been through the quiet peace I feel today.
I'm so thankful for the loving God I serve. I'm so thankful for His hand in my life. I'm so thankful for the hope I have in Him.
Because of this hope, I can celebrate with my Mom that she's spent a whole year in Heaven. I am looking forward to the day I see her again, and I can relish that this crazy world is only temporary. I'm so thankful for her heart that loved God.
I don't know if it's this way for every person, but grieving has made me intensely long for heaven. Since October 24th, 2007, I've read a couple of books on the subject. While my heart aches for Jesus to come back and just take us all home, I also realize that each day we are here is a day that God has a purpose for us. I think for me, my heart is beating all the more intensely for the salvation of unsaved family members. I ache and pray fervently that they come to know Christ. I don't want them to miss out. I've done some studying lately. While I know there are different views surrounding this subject, I personally don't feel this crazy world has much longer before Christ returns. This makes me excited, but it makes my heart ache all the more for these family members.
All this to say, I'm just so thankful for the hope I have in eternity. Whether God takes me tomorrow or in 80 years, I'm so thankful I know where I'll be. I would be so lost without Him. What a great and good God He is.
Yesterday, I went for another ultrasound of our almost 10 week old baby. There is a situation that the doctor has been monitoring. He says to not be too concerned at this point, but it's just something we need to keep an eye on. It has the potential to lead to a miscarriage, but he doesn't think we are at that point yet. We have another ultrasound on Nov. 10th.
Needless to say, no mother ever wants to hear these words. ESPECIALLY not during a week she's also grieving hard over her own mother. The thought of losing this baby that I love so much and take such delight in just moves me to no words.
And yet... I woke up this morning with incredible peace.
Last night, Aaron and I prayed over the baby. As we pleaded for God to protect it, we also gave it back to Him. I always *knew* that there was no better place to put a worry, concern or loved one than in God's hands. After October 24th, 2007...I can say that I believe it more than ever.
Please don't misunderstand...I'm still going to have moments of fear and anxiousness. I honestly don't think I have the energy to grieve again so soon and so hard. I can't imagine it all...
I just know that no matter what happens...I'll be okay eventually. Because the same God that has proven himself over and over will take care of us again. I really do know that there is no better place for my baby or I to be than in His hands.
So...maybe this is all aimless babble. I don't know. What I do know is that I just want to say thank you to my God for loving me so much and being so real. I'm thankful for how He has put up with my moments of weak faith and doubt. I'm thankful for how He's always been there and has never left my side for a minute. I really do love Him so much.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
In Love...
I am in love.
We had an ultrasound today. We saw our little 6 week baby and heard its beating heart.
I cried.
Seeing the baby made the pregnancy feel so much more real. I've been feeling so good that it's been hard to comprehend at times that I'm actually carrying a baby...
...but I am. It's really there. I love it more than ever.
We had an ultrasound today. We saw our little 6 week baby and heard its beating heart.
I cried.
Seeing the baby made the pregnancy feel so much more real. I've been feeling so good that it's been hard to comprehend at times that I'm actually carrying a baby...
...but I am. It's really there. I love it more than ever.
Friday, September 26, 2008
A good day...
Today has been one of those days where it's hard to stop smiling. In keeping with my favorite "list" fashion...here a few reasons why:
1. Gorgeous fall weather. Warm, breezy, sunny...
2. Leaves are changing. Corn is golden.
3. Sidewalk chalk with Emily at lunch.
4. Our discovery of two "fun friends".
5. Chef Boyardee pizza (an old childhood favorite).
6. An especially funny "I Love Lucy" rerun.
7. Laughter with Aaron and Emily.
8. It's Friday.
9. A great sale at Kohls tonight on maternity clothes.
10. Emily wanting to sit on our swing and "watch until the snow comes."
11. Faith that God will always provide.
12. Basking in awe of His love for me.
13. Amazement of the precious little life growing safely inside of me.
2. Leaves are changing. Corn is golden.
3. Sidewalk chalk with Emily at lunch.
4. Our discovery of two "fun friends".
5. Chef Boyardee pizza (an old childhood favorite).
6. An especially funny "I Love Lucy" rerun.
7. Laughter with Aaron and Emily.
8. It's Friday.
9. A great sale at Kohls tonight on maternity clothes.
10. Emily wanting to sit on our swing and "watch until the snow comes."
11. Faith that God will always provide.
12. Basking in awe of His love for me.
13. Amazement of the precious little life growing safely inside of me.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
"Mommy's Little Helper"
Emily has really taken an interest in being a "good helper" lately. I really like to see this, and I'm trying to make a conscious effort to encourage it. However, I'm learning that close supervision is mandatory. Otherwise, I find wet Kleenexes on the floor near my mop water, or I see her bringing me an armful of wadded up towels to put away that I just folded. :) She's so cute about it that I find it hard to get *too* frustrated. :)
Tonight, I thought I would see if she wanted to help me make dinner. Boy did she. We had quite the time of it. See for yourself:
"Deep in concentration as she breaks all the spaghetti noodles in half."
"The secret's in the sauce!!!"
"Yummy brownie batter!"
"It was a tough job...but someone had to do it!"
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thanks to all who've commented and e-mailed. I'm trying to catch up on e-mails, facebook & blogging. So, if I haven't gotten to you yet, I will try to soon! :)
We are so excited and happy about the baby. No, this wasn't a surprise. Though, the way I acted when I read the test would make you think it was. I just stood there kind of stunned...shaking. I could hardly believe it. When I took the test I had actually scolded myself for wasting money because I *knew* it was way to early to be testing. Maybe that's why the shock effect took over when the line showed up almost right away.
Emily and I picked up Aaron from his work to take him to lunch that same day. She was wearing her shirt and ran to meet him. Aaron got the cutest smile on his face when he read Emily's shirt and said "Really?" He's pretty happy. Much less nervous the 2nd time around. :) He always wants plenty of proof, though. I have a ziplock bag filled with 3 positive pregnancy tests. He just kept wanting me to *make sure*.
Emily is just beside herself. She loves telling people that she's going to be a big sister, and that Mommy has a baby in her tummy.
I think it's going to be quite entertaining to watch her little mind process things over the next 9 months.
The night we told we told her, she rode through Walmart in her shopping cart with her toy kitty stuffed up her dress. She kept telling me that she had a baby in HER tummy.
This morning we were sitting on the couch together and she got out a notebook with a pen. As she was scribbling all over the paper she announced that she was doing her "school work" because she was going to be a big sister.
When we saw a man from our church in the store on Saturday, she pointed to him and said "Hey! You're from the church! Mommy's got a baby in her tummy, and this is for the baby! See? (She held up a gender neutral newborn outfit that we had picked up for the baby...Something I can't resist doing each time I find out I'm pregnant.)
As for me...I'm great. Completely happy and content. No sickness yet, though I can feel definite *signs* that point to pregnancy. I think this is going to be a pretty busy week. I have a lot that I just *HAVE* to do before I start feeling sick. Texas Road House was one item that we crossed off my list on Saturday. :) I'm excited to wear maternity clothes and am quite happy that you start showing earlier in your 2nd pregnancy. Mostly, I'm just in awe of the little miracle that's growing in my body. I'm thankful to God for giving us this dose of joy after a difficult year.
As we spread our good news to family and friends, my heart did ache a bit as there is one special person in particular that I couldn't tell personally. Someone who I think would have been more excited than anyone. My mom. BUT...that's not to say I don't think she knows. I believe she does.
Sometime after taking the test, I remember asking God to please tell my mom for me. I asked Him to also tell her that she was the first to know. She ALWAYS loved to be the first to know...about ANYTHING. :) I asked God to tell her that I loved her, and that I was so very happy.
I have no reason not to think that God didn't pull Mom aside and share my precious secret with her. I fully believe that there was a moment in time when the only ones who knew about the baby were God, Mom and I.
I really liked that moment.
Oh, and I'm due Sunday, May 24th.
We are so excited and happy about the baby. No, this wasn't a surprise. Though, the way I acted when I read the test would make you think it was. I just stood there kind of stunned...shaking. I could hardly believe it. When I took the test I had actually scolded myself for wasting money because I *knew* it was way to early to be testing. Maybe that's why the shock effect took over when the line showed up almost right away.
Emily and I picked up Aaron from his work to take him to lunch that same day. She was wearing her shirt and ran to meet him. Aaron got the cutest smile on his face when he read Emily's shirt and said "Really?" He's pretty happy. Much less nervous the 2nd time around. :) He always wants plenty of proof, though. I have a ziplock bag filled with 3 positive pregnancy tests. He just kept wanting me to *make sure*.
Emily is just beside herself. She loves telling people that she's going to be a big sister, and that Mommy has a baby in her tummy.
I think it's going to be quite entertaining to watch her little mind process things over the next 9 months.
The night we told we told her, she rode through Walmart in her shopping cart with her toy kitty stuffed up her dress. She kept telling me that she had a baby in HER tummy.
This morning we were sitting on the couch together and she got out a notebook with a pen. As she was scribbling all over the paper she announced that she was doing her "school work" because she was going to be a big sister.
When we saw a man from our church in the store on Saturday, she pointed to him and said "Hey! You're from the church! Mommy's got a baby in her tummy, and this is for the baby! See? (She held up a gender neutral newborn outfit that we had picked up for the baby...Something I can't resist doing each time I find out I'm pregnant.)
As for me...I'm great. Completely happy and content. No sickness yet, though I can feel definite *signs* that point to pregnancy. I think this is going to be a pretty busy week. I have a lot that I just *HAVE* to do before I start feeling sick. Texas Road House was one item that we crossed off my list on Saturday. :) I'm excited to wear maternity clothes and am quite happy that you start showing earlier in your 2nd pregnancy. Mostly, I'm just in awe of the little miracle that's growing in my body. I'm thankful to God for giving us this dose of joy after a difficult year.
As we spread our good news to family and friends, my heart did ache a bit as there is one special person in particular that I couldn't tell personally. Someone who I think would have been more excited than anyone. My mom. BUT...that's not to say I don't think she knows. I believe she does.
Sometime after taking the test, I remember asking God to please tell my mom for me. I asked Him to also tell her that she was the first to know. She ALWAYS loved to be the first to know...about ANYTHING. :) I asked God to tell her that I loved her, and that I was so very happy.
I have no reason not to think that God didn't pull Mom aside and share my precious secret with her. I fully believe that there was a moment in time when the only ones who knew about the baby were God, Mom and I.
I really liked that moment.
Oh, and I'm due Sunday, May 24th.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
A little bit of randomness to get back in the groove...
1. I miss Lake Michigan quite badly.
2. I just got home from taking our church kids to Dairy Queen.
3. As of Saturday, I now have a stepmom and 4 stepbrothers/sisters.
4. My mom's been gone 9 months and 17 days. I really wish I could call her and say "Hi" tonight.
4. My sister-in-law just got me addicted to facebook.
5. I really need to clean my house.
6. VBS was really cool this year. Our theme was "Cosmic City". The black lights and glow paint were awsome. Someone donated $ for a moon walk on the last night. That was such a blessing. The kids loved it. :)
7. God has really been blessing my work for Water in2 Wine. We are almost booked for the year. He gets all the credit because I really don't know what I'm doing.
8. God's really been teaching me somethings lately. I like that I never have to stop learning as long as He's in my life.
9. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go to Disney World.
10. Aaron and I have been married for 4 1/2 years already. Just when I don't think I could love him anymore, I fall in love with him a little harder. He's been such a support this past year. I'm so proud to be his wife.
11. Emily misses Lake Michigan too.
12. Emily is turning into a little girl. She's so not a baby and a toddler anymore. I'm still trying to figure out how this happened.
13. She just memorized John 3:16. :)
14. I just realized I have 2 "4's" but I really don't feel like going back and changing it.
15. I like lists. If all my blog posts were lists, I bet I would blog more often.
16. After 9 months of some crazy changes, I'm so grateful that God doesn't change...ever.
17. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you're right where God needs you to be at any given point in your life.
18. I really love http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
19. I'm realizing more and more how incredible the responsibility of being a parent is. I pray and pray that God will give Aaron and I limitless wisdom.
20. I was daydreaming today about what I would do with $200,000 if I suddenly inherited it.
21. I would definitley go to Disney World. :)
2. I just got home from taking our church kids to Dairy Queen.
3. As of Saturday, I now have a stepmom and 4 stepbrothers/sisters.
4. My mom's been gone 9 months and 17 days. I really wish I could call her and say "Hi" tonight.
4. My sister-in-law just got me addicted to facebook.
5. I really need to clean my house.
6. VBS was really cool this year. Our theme was "Cosmic City". The black lights and glow paint were awsome. Someone donated $ for a moon walk on the last night. That was such a blessing. The kids loved it. :)
7. God has really been blessing my work for Water in2 Wine. We are almost booked for the year. He gets all the credit because I really don't know what I'm doing.
8. God's really been teaching me somethings lately. I like that I never have to stop learning as long as He's in my life.
9. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go to Disney World.
10. Aaron and I have been married for 4 1/2 years already. Just when I don't think I could love him anymore, I fall in love with him a little harder. He's been such a support this past year. I'm so proud to be his wife.
11. Emily misses Lake Michigan too.
12. Emily is turning into a little girl. She's so not a baby and a toddler anymore. I'm still trying to figure out how this happened.
13. She just memorized John 3:16. :)
14. I just realized I have 2 "4's" but I really don't feel like going back and changing it.
15. I like lists. If all my blog posts were lists, I bet I would blog more often.
16. After 9 months of some crazy changes, I'm so grateful that God doesn't change...ever.
17. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you're right where God needs you to be at any given point in your life.
18. I really love http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
19. I'm realizing more and more how incredible the responsibility of being a parent is. I pray and pray that God will give Aaron and I limitless wisdom.
20. I was daydreaming today about what I would do with $200,000 if I suddenly inherited it.
21. I would definitley go to Disney World. :)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Heather Renae Ashlock
To my sweet niece, Heather Renae Ashlock:
Heather,
Today I witnessed your birth. It was a day that I will never forget as long as I live. I was so amazed with you. You were beautiful. Fully formed. Your tiny hands, feet, ears & face couldn't escape my gaze as I held you close. As soon as I took you into my arms, I instantly had visions of days filled with birthday parties, play time in the sun, laughter with cousins, beautiful smiles, giggles, tickle fights, doting grandparents, school programs, weddings & births. It hurt so much to know that these visions were just that...visions. Never were they to become realities.
There were 10 hearts that awaited your arrival at the hospital today 10 hearts that were proud to be your family. 10 hearts that looked longingly in nursery windows as other newborns routinely went in to be checked, cleaned & measured. 10 hearts that loved you so much...even though they had never met you. 10 hearts that tried to beat strongly through the pain. 10 hearts that were comforted by God's wonderfully promised strength and grace. 10 hearts that will never be the same because you've found your way into them.
Heather, even though your precious life on earth lasted only 17 weeks, I want you to know that your time here has not been wasted. God has used you. Because of you, a family has grown even closer than it was before. Because of you, there are 10 hearts that long for heaven even more intensely. Because of you, we can all stand a bit bolder and stronger in our faith. You have given us yet another example of a time in our lives that God has held us close and carried us through.
I think that the greatest way I have seen God use your life is the way that He has given your parents such an incredible testimony. You would be so proud of them, Heather. They have done nothing but bring glory to Him. Don't get me wrong. They are heartbroken, and they are hurting in a way I can't begin to fathom. However, they are not bitter. They are not casting blame. They are simply trusting. Trusting in His perfect plan and relying on His strong arms to carry them. Watching your parents during this time in their lives has been one of the most beautiful things I've seen. I will never forget the way they have held onto each other and to the Lord. I don't know if you were watching your Daddy's concert last night or if you were too busy playing with Jesus. If, in fact, you were watching the concert, I know you would have seen the way God powerfully used your daddy as he sang and testified of God's strength during this storm. Satan must have been sorely disappointed. I can't help but think of all the people your mommy and daddy will minister to as a result of them being your parents.
Even though we are sad that we won't be with you for awhile, you should know that we are delighted for you. We are delighted that you will never experience the brokeness and hardships life in this world brings. You will never have a skinned knee or an upset tummy. You'll never have to get a shot or the chicken pox. You'll never know what it's like to be picked last for a team in gym class or to not be invited to birthday party down the street. You'll never have nightmares or homesickness. You'll never have to worry about terrorists or what kind of country your kids will grow up in. You'll never burn your finger, stub your toe or have your heart broken by boys. You'll never get lost. You'll never be stressed out or overwhelmingly busy. You'll never lose a job or have to pay bills. You'll never know what it's like to grieve. You'll never have to say goodbye. You'll never be afraid or scared. You'll never be at risk for cancer, heart attacks or strokes. You will never be disappointed, and you'll never know rejection, anger or strife. All you will ever know is the comfort and security you had while growing in your mommy and what's it's like being with Jesus in Heaven. So yes, we are delighted for you.
I love you, Heather. We ALL love you. You will never be forgotten. You will continue to be missed until the day we see you again. Until then...enjoy your life with Jesus in Heaven. We know it must be amazing.
Love,
Aunt Kelly
Heather,
Today I witnessed your birth. It was a day that I will never forget as long as I live. I was so amazed with you. You were beautiful. Fully formed. Your tiny hands, feet, ears & face couldn't escape my gaze as I held you close. As soon as I took you into my arms, I instantly had visions of days filled with birthday parties, play time in the sun, laughter with cousins, beautiful smiles, giggles, tickle fights, doting grandparents, school programs, weddings & births. It hurt so much to know that these visions were just that...visions. Never were they to become realities.
There were 10 hearts that awaited your arrival at the hospital today 10 hearts that were proud to be your family. 10 hearts that looked longingly in nursery windows as other newborns routinely went in to be checked, cleaned & measured. 10 hearts that loved you so much...even though they had never met you. 10 hearts that tried to beat strongly through the pain. 10 hearts that were comforted by God's wonderfully promised strength and grace. 10 hearts that will never be the same because you've found your way into them.
Heather, even though your precious life on earth lasted only 17 weeks, I want you to know that your time here has not been wasted. God has used you. Because of you, a family has grown even closer than it was before. Because of you, there are 10 hearts that long for heaven even more intensely. Because of you, we can all stand a bit bolder and stronger in our faith. You have given us yet another example of a time in our lives that God has held us close and carried us through.
I think that the greatest way I have seen God use your life is the way that He has given your parents such an incredible testimony. You would be so proud of them, Heather. They have done nothing but bring glory to Him. Don't get me wrong. They are heartbroken, and they are hurting in a way I can't begin to fathom. However, they are not bitter. They are not casting blame. They are simply trusting. Trusting in His perfect plan and relying on His strong arms to carry them. Watching your parents during this time in their lives has been one of the most beautiful things I've seen. I will never forget the way they have held onto each other and to the Lord. I don't know if you were watching your Daddy's concert last night or if you were too busy playing with Jesus. If, in fact, you were watching the concert, I know you would have seen the way God powerfully used your daddy as he sang and testified of God's strength during this storm. Satan must have been sorely disappointed. I can't help but think of all the people your mommy and daddy will minister to as a result of them being your parents.
Even though we are sad that we won't be with you for awhile, you should know that we are delighted for you. We are delighted that you will never experience the brokeness and hardships life in this world brings. You will never have a skinned knee or an upset tummy. You'll never have to get a shot or the chicken pox. You'll never know what it's like to be picked last for a team in gym class or to not be invited to birthday party down the street. You'll never have nightmares or homesickness. You'll never have to worry about terrorists or what kind of country your kids will grow up in. You'll never burn your finger, stub your toe or have your heart broken by boys. You'll never get lost. You'll never be stressed out or overwhelmingly busy. You'll never lose a job or have to pay bills. You'll never know what it's like to grieve. You'll never have to say goodbye. You'll never be afraid or scared. You'll never be at risk for cancer, heart attacks or strokes. You will never be disappointed, and you'll never know rejection, anger or strife. All you will ever know is the comfort and security you had while growing in your mommy and what's it's like being with Jesus in Heaven. So yes, we are delighted for you.
I love you, Heather. We ALL love you. You will never be forgotten. You will continue to be missed until the day we see you again. Until then...enjoy your life with Jesus in Heaven. We know it must be amazing.
Love,
Aunt Kelly
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
My hubby...
...spent 20 minutes in the freezing cold chiseling open my car door early this morning after it was was plastered shut by an ugly ice storm.
...makes me laugh and giggle.
...makes me feel secure.
...cries when I hurt.
...prays in a way that makes me want to *listen in* all the more.
...believes in me.
...has compassion on the little old lady at church that sometimes smells bad.
...calls me at work to make sure I got there okay.
I love him.
...makes me laugh and giggle.
...makes me feel secure.
...cries when I hurt.
...prays in a way that makes me want to *listen in* all the more.
...believes in me.
...has compassion on the little old lady at church that sometimes smells bad.
...calls me at work to make sure I got there okay.
I love him.
You know you're the mother of an "almost 3 year old" when...
1. A whole day of dry big girl panties is the cause of great excitement and numerous calls to proud grandparents.
2. "Princesses do NOT pick their noses!" and other such phrases are a normal part of your vocabulary.
3. Speaking of princesses...you have rekindled a long lost relationship with Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel & Belle.
4. You wonder if Jesus, Mary & Joseph ever got into tickle fights.
5. You find yourself craving goldfish crackers and fruit snacks.
6. The thought of a trip to Walmart by yourself makes you almost giddy.
7. You look at the world in a way you that haven't in a really really really long time.
8. You are excited for summer so that you can go to parks and blow bubbles.
9. You've been interrupted five times while writing this blog post.
10. You are a master at determining when it's *too* quiet.
11. You daily fall in love all over again.
12. You have the utmost respect for the person who invented the "Magic Eraser".
13. You are starting to realize how much wisdom God is going to have to give you in order to be an effective parent. You see how perfect His planning was when He chose to introduce children to their parents as babies and not teenagers.
14. You are having the time of your life.
2. "Princesses do NOT pick their noses!" and other such phrases are a normal part of your vocabulary.
3. Speaking of princesses...you have rekindled a long lost relationship with Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel & Belle.
4. You wonder if Jesus, Mary & Joseph ever got into tickle fights.
5. You find yourself craving goldfish crackers and fruit snacks.
6. The thought of a trip to Walmart by yourself makes you almost giddy.
7. You look at the world in a way you that haven't in a really really really long time.
8. You are excited for summer so that you can go to parks and blow bubbles.
9. You've been interrupted five times while writing this blog post.
10. You are a master at determining when it's *too* quiet.
11. You daily fall in love all over again.
12. You have the utmost respect for the person who invented the "Magic Eraser".
13. You are starting to realize how much wisdom God is going to have to give you in order to be an effective parent. You see how perfect His planning was when He chose to introduce children to their parents as babies and not teenagers.
14. You are having the time of your life.
Friday, February 29, 2008
A conversation with Emily
Yesterday morning, Emily was awake during our morning commute to work. We always drive by the building where my office is in on way to the sitters. This conversation took place as we drove past it yesterday:
Emily: "Can I go see your work?"
Me: "No, not today. You get to go see Tom and Cathy today. "
Emily: Pouty lip (Because she's not getting what she wants. NOT because she didn't want to go see Tom and Cathy.)
Me: "Guess what, Emily? In only 2 more weeks, mommy won't have to go to work anymore. I'll be able to stay at home and play with you. Sometimes I'll have to go do some work at the church, but you'll get to play with Daddy then."
Emily: She pauses to process this information. Then, with her face lighting up: "Can I bring my sweater?".
Yah....Mommy may be super excited, but Emily clearly doesn't have a clue.
Emily: "Can I go see your work?"
Me: "No, not today. You get to go see Tom and Cathy today. "
Emily: Pouty lip (Because she's not getting what she wants. NOT because she didn't want to go see Tom and Cathy.)
Me: "Guess what, Emily? In only 2 more weeks, mommy won't have to go to work anymore. I'll be able to stay at home and play with you. Sometimes I'll have to go do some work at the church, but you'll get to play with Daddy then."
Emily: She pauses to process this information. Then, with her face lighting up: "Can I bring my sweater?".
Yah....Mommy may be super excited, but Emily clearly doesn't have a clue.
Monday, February 25, 2008
WOW!
Today God gave me a miracle that I've been praying for since the day Emily was born.
Today I did something that I thought was humanly impossible.
Today God allowed something to come to pass that only could have been because of His doing.
Today God answered a prayer so specifically, it takes my breath away.
Today, I quit my job.
In 3 weeks, I will be coming home...for good.
In 3 weeks, I will begin to work for Water in2 Wine 20 hours a week doing it's scheduling & PR work. (Water in2 Wine is my hubby's music ministry....in case you didn't know.)
When you figure in traveling time & time I'm away from home, I currently work 53 hours a week.
53 to 20 is quite a big difference. A life changing one actually.
How do I feel?
Excited. Surreal. Nervous. Not panicked...just nervous. Adventurous. Exhausted. Relieved. Sad at saying goodbye to people at work who have secured a place in my heart. Sad at telling our babysitters (They just love Emily so much, and we love them!). Completely overjoyed.
Have you ever been so overwhelmed with gratitude that you don't know how to properly thank God? Seriously, words feel so inadequate. I'm asking Him to just listen to the words of my heart. I promised that later I would try to articulate better.
I'll also try to thank Him by doing my best. Doing my best to take care of my family, my home and in my work for the ministry.
That leads me to another feeling...A fear of failure.
What if my house is still messy? What if my meals are lousy? What if the laundry still piles up? What if I grow restless? What if I still struggle with contentment? What if I can't get the bookings for Water in 2 Wine? What if I get lonely? He's giving me this incredible gift. I don't want to let Him down.
But... I'll just give Him my best. Truthfully, probably all of the above will happen at some point or another. I'm human. I still will need to learn and grow. I'll still need His grace & His patience. He just wants my best. I've told myself not to fall into the "super mom" trap that new "stay at home" moms reportedly battle with. I just have to be me. "Me" is a young woman who daily needs to pray that God will continue to help her to be all that He needs her to be.
The finances? We'll be tight, but we won't go hungry. Somehow, I think it will be worth it. I believe we're being obedient, and I know that means God will provide.
Wow. I just can hardly believe I've typed all this. I'm still amazed.
Today I did something that I thought was humanly impossible.
Today God allowed something to come to pass that only could have been because of His doing.
Today God answered a prayer so specifically, it takes my breath away.
Today, I quit my job.
In 3 weeks, I will be coming home...for good.
In 3 weeks, I will begin to work for Water in2 Wine 20 hours a week doing it's scheduling & PR work. (Water in2 Wine is my hubby's music ministry....in case you didn't know.)
When you figure in traveling time & time I'm away from home, I currently work 53 hours a week.
53 to 20 is quite a big difference. A life changing one actually.
How do I feel?
Excited. Surreal. Nervous. Not panicked...just nervous. Adventurous. Exhausted. Relieved. Sad at saying goodbye to people at work who have secured a place in my heart. Sad at telling our babysitters (They just love Emily so much, and we love them!). Completely overjoyed.
Have you ever been so overwhelmed with gratitude that you don't know how to properly thank God? Seriously, words feel so inadequate. I'm asking Him to just listen to the words of my heart. I promised that later I would try to articulate better.
I'll also try to thank Him by doing my best. Doing my best to take care of my family, my home and in my work for the ministry.
That leads me to another feeling...A fear of failure.
What if my house is still messy? What if my meals are lousy? What if the laundry still piles up? What if I grow restless? What if I still struggle with contentment? What if I can't get the bookings for Water in 2 Wine? What if I get lonely? He's giving me this incredible gift. I don't want to let Him down.
But... I'll just give Him my best. Truthfully, probably all of the above will happen at some point or another. I'm human. I still will need to learn and grow. I'll still need His grace & His patience. He just wants my best. I've told myself not to fall into the "super mom" trap that new "stay at home" moms reportedly battle with. I just have to be me. "Me" is a young woman who daily needs to pray that God will continue to help her to be all that He needs her to be.
The finances? We'll be tight, but we won't go hungry. Somehow, I think it will be worth it. I believe we're being obedient, and I know that means God will provide.
Wow. I just can hardly believe I've typed all this. I'm still amazed.
Just think, I'll have so much more time to potty train. Actually, we've been doing amazingly well with that in the past few weeks. I wanted Emily to be completely trained (with the exception of night time) by the time her birthday roles around in March. I think we just might make it. We'll definitely be close. We do still have moments that leave me doubting if we are completely on track. For example.... I stumbled on this scenario when I checked on a "supposed to be sleeping" Emily the other night. 
I think we still have a few "things" to straighten out in regards to the process as a whole. :)
I think we still have a few "things" to straighten out in regards to the process as a whole. :)Thursday, January 24, 2008
Normal Dreams
The other day I told my Dad that I was anxious for us to spend some time together that feels "normal". The kind of "normal" that resembles the way things were before Mom died. I'm not sure we'll ever be able to re-visit that "normal" again. Instead, we will continue this journey that we started on Oct. 24th of rediscovering a new "normal".
Last night I had a dream. Vivid. I dreamed that Mom was alive again. She and Dad were stitting in our family room. Mom was wearing a light blue shirt. She looked beautiful & very huggable. Dad's face was glowing. He was so happy. It was spring time. There was no snow or cold, yet it wasn't too hot. It was just...refreshing. In fact, we were watching the weather radar on TV. There was a spring storm coming in. We were watching to see if we were going to get it. (Something very "normal" that we used to do. Our family loves to watch the weather.)
My mind was trying to sort out how Mom could possibly be there in my family room. I wavered back and forth from confusion to sheer happiness and joy. I even told her, "Mom, I saw how the funeral directors took care of you. They put you in the casket and everything. I guess God must have just brought you back somehow."
Despite my happiness, I could see that Mom was burdened. She was so glad to be with her family, but she was sick again now that she was back on earth. Clearly, her illnesses were taking a toll on her...just as they used too. I remember asking God about this in my dream. He told me that my old "normal" did indeed have it's challenges.
I had to leave them. I had to drive somewhere. In the car, I was looking up into the sun just rejoicing and thanking God for giving me my Mom back. I knew I didn't have a clue how long I would have her for, but I was so thankful even for just that one visit.
Then I woke up.
I've thought about this dream all day. All day, I've had a huge lump in my throat.
I'm glad my Mom isn't burdened anymore. Her new "normal" is something I can't fathom. Her joy must be indescribable.
It's just that she looked so pretty in that light blue shirt...pretty and huggable.
Last night I had a dream. Vivid. I dreamed that Mom was alive again. She and Dad were stitting in our family room. Mom was wearing a light blue shirt. She looked beautiful & very huggable. Dad's face was glowing. He was so happy. It was spring time. There was no snow or cold, yet it wasn't too hot. It was just...refreshing. In fact, we were watching the weather radar on TV. There was a spring storm coming in. We were watching to see if we were going to get it. (Something very "normal" that we used to do. Our family loves to watch the weather.)
My mind was trying to sort out how Mom could possibly be there in my family room. I wavered back and forth from confusion to sheer happiness and joy. I even told her, "Mom, I saw how the funeral directors took care of you. They put you in the casket and everything. I guess God must have just brought you back somehow."
Despite my happiness, I could see that Mom was burdened. She was so glad to be with her family, but she was sick again now that she was back on earth. Clearly, her illnesses were taking a toll on her...just as they used too. I remember asking God about this in my dream. He told me that my old "normal" did indeed have it's challenges.
I had to leave them. I had to drive somewhere. In the car, I was looking up into the sun just rejoicing and thanking God for giving me my Mom back. I knew I didn't have a clue how long I would have her for, but I was so thankful even for just that one visit.
Then I woke up.
I've thought about this dream all day. All day, I've had a huge lump in my throat.
I'm glad my Mom isn't burdened anymore. Her new "normal" is something I can't fathom. Her joy must be indescribable.
It's just that she looked so pretty in that light blue shirt...pretty and huggable.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Tips for Working Mothers #1
#1 Occasionally have an all out, bathroom-soaking, have-to-get-a-dry-towel-when-you're-done-water fight during bath time.
Seriously, why not? You're bathroom floor always gets drenched anyways during the 60 second intervals you turn your back to process the laundry and pack the diaper bag...no matter how many times you give the "Keep the water in the tub!" lecture. I guarantee the absolutely hysterical laughter that will ensue from BOTH of you will be entirely worth it. The extra 2 or 3 towels it takes to mop up that night will be worth the precious memory and 10 minutes of stress relief you just found. The #1 rule to make this activity a success is that you make sure you drench your child with just as much fervor as they get you. Trust me, they can handle it!!! :)
I would have posted a picture, but I didn't dare bring the camera anywhere near the bathroom during or following this new found event.
Seriously, why not? You're bathroom floor always gets drenched anyways during the 60 second intervals you turn your back to process the laundry and pack the diaper bag...no matter how many times you give the "Keep the water in the tub!" lecture. I guarantee the absolutely hysterical laughter that will ensue from BOTH of you will be entirely worth it. The extra 2 or 3 towels it takes to mop up that night will be worth the precious memory and 10 minutes of stress relief you just found. The #1 rule to make this activity a success is that you make sure you drench your child with just as much fervor as they get you. Trust me, they can handle it!!! :)
I would have posted a picture, but I didn't dare bring the camera anywhere near the bathroom during or following this new found event.
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