Heather Renae Ashlock

To my sweet niece, Heather Renae Ashlock:

Heather,

Today I witnessed your birth. It was a day that I will never forget as long as I live. I was so amazed with you. You were beautiful. Fully formed. Your tiny hands, feet, ears & face couldn't escape my gaze as I held you close. As soon as I took you into my arms, I instantly had visions of days filled with birthday parties, play time in the sun, laughter with cousins, beautiful smiles, giggles, tickle fights, doting grandparents, school programs, weddings & births. It hurt so much to know that these visions were just that...visions. Never were they to become realities.

There were 10 hearts that awaited your arrival at the hospital today 10 hearts that were proud to be your family. 10 hearts that looked longingly in nursery windows as other newborns routinely went in to be checked, cleaned & measured. 10 hearts that loved you so much...even though they had never met you. 10 hearts that tried to beat strongly through the pain. 10 hearts that were comforted by God's wonderfully promised strength and grace. 10 hearts that will never be the same because you've found your way into them.

Heather, even though your precious life on earth lasted only 17 weeks, I want you to know that your time here has not been wasted. God has used you. Because of you, a family has grown even closer than it was before. Because of you, there are 10 hearts that long for heaven even more intensely. Because of you, we can all stand a bit bolder and stronger in our faith. You have given us yet another example of a time in our lives that God has held us close and carried us through.

I think that the greatest way I have seen God use your life is the way that He has given your parents such an incredible testimony. You would be so proud of them, Heather. They have done nothing but bring glory to Him. Don't get me wrong. They are heartbroken, and they are hurting in a way I can't begin to fathom. However, they are not bitter. They are not casting blame. They are simply trusting. Trusting in His perfect plan and relying on His strong arms to carry them. Watching your parents during this time in their lives has been one of the most beautiful things I've seen. I will never forget the way they have held onto each other and to the Lord. I don't know if you were watching your Daddy's concert last night or if you were too busy playing with Jesus. If, in fact, you were watching the concert, I know you would have seen the way God powerfully used your daddy as he sang and testified of God's strength during this storm. Satan must have been sorely disappointed. I can't help but think of all the people your mommy and daddy will minister to as a result of them being your parents.

Even though we are sad that we won't be with you for awhile, you should know that we are delighted for you. We are delighted that you will never experience the brokeness and hardships life in this world brings. You will never have a skinned knee or an upset tummy. You'll never have to get a shot or the chicken pox. You'll never know what it's like to be picked last for a team in gym class or to not be invited to birthday party down the street. You'll never have nightmares or homesickness. You'll never have to worry about terrorists or what kind of country your kids will grow up in. You'll never burn your finger, stub your toe or have your heart broken by boys. You'll never get lost. You'll never be stressed out or overwhelmingly busy. You'll never lose a job or have to pay bills. You'll never know what it's like to grieve. You'll never have to say goodbye. You'll never be afraid or scared. You'll never be at risk for cancer, heart attacks or strokes. You will never be disappointed, and you'll never know rejection, anger or strife. All you will ever know is the comfort and security you had while growing in your mommy and what's it's like being with Jesus in Heaven. So yes, we are delighted for you.

I love you, Heather. We ALL love you. You will never be forgotten. You will continue to be missed until the day we see you again. Until then...enjoy your life with Jesus in Heaven. We know it must be amazing.

Love,
Aunt Kelly