A conversation with Emily

Yesterday morning, Emily was awake during our morning commute to work. We always drive by the building where my office is in on way to the sitters. This conversation took place as we drove past it yesterday:

Emily: "Can I go see your work?"

Me: "No, not today. You get to go see Tom and Cathy today. "

Emily: Pouty lip (Because she's not getting what she wants. NOT because she didn't want to go see Tom and Cathy.)

Me: "Guess what, Emily? In only 2 more weeks, mommy won't have to go to work anymore. I'll be able to stay at home and play with you. Sometimes I'll have to go do some work at the church, but you'll get to play with Daddy then."

Emily: She pauses to process this information. Then, with her face lighting up: "Can I bring my sweater?".


Yah....Mommy may be super excited, but Emily clearly doesn't have a clue.

WOW!

Today God gave me a miracle that I've been praying for since the day Emily was born.


Today I did something that I thought was humanly impossible.


Today God allowed something to come to pass that only could have been because of His doing.


Today God answered a prayer so specifically, it takes my breath away.


Today, I quit my job.


In 3 weeks, I will be coming home...for good.

In 3 weeks, I will begin to work for Water in2 Wine 20 hours a week doing it's scheduling & PR work. (Water in2 Wine is my hubby's music ministry....in case you didn't know.)

When you figure in traveling time & time I'm away from home, I currently work 53 hours a week.

53 to 20 is quite a big difference. A life changing one actually.


How do I feel?

Excited. Surreal. Nervous. Not panicked...just nervous. Adventurous. Exhausted. Relieved. Sad at saying goodbye to people at work who have secured a place in my heart. Sad at telling our babysitters (They just love Emily so much, and we love them!). Completely overjoyed.

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with gratitude that you don't know how to properly thank God? Seriously, words feel so inadequate. I'm asking Him to just listen to the words of my heart. I promised that later I would try to articulate better.

I'll also try to thank Him by doing my best. Doing my best to take care of my family, my home and in my work for the ministry.

That leads me to another feeling...A fear of failure.

What if my house is still messy? What if my meals are lousy? What if the laundry still piles up? What if I grow restless? What if I still struggle with contentment? What if I can't get the bookings for Water in 2 Wine? What if I get lonely? He's giving me this incredible gift. I don't want to let Him down.

But... I'll just give Him my best. Truthfully, probably all of the above will happen at some point or another. I'm human. I still will need to learn and grow. I'll still need His grace & His patience. He just wants my best. I've told myself not to fall into the "super mom" trap that new "stay at home" moms reportedly battle with. I just have to be me. "Me" is a young woman who daily needs to pray that God will continue to help her to be all that He needs her to be.

The finances? We'll be tight, but we won't go hungry. Somehow, I think it will be worth it. I believe we're being obedient, and I know that means God will provide.

Wow. I just can hardly believe I've typed all this. I'm still amazed.

Just think, I'll have so much more time to potty train. Actually, we've been doing amazingly well with that in the past few weeks. I wanted Emily to be completely trained (with the exception of night time) by the time her birthday roles around in March. I think we just might make it. We'll definitely be close. We do still have moments that leave me doubting if we are completely on track. For example.... I stumbled on this scenario when I checked on a "supposed to be sleeping" Emily the other night. I think we still have a few "things" to straighten out in regards to the process as a whole. :)